NOTICE: There is a lot of information to digest and please look at as information only. Each of us are as unique, different as those grains of sand as well as our family individualities and how to deal with this different but common problem . Real decision come from working with a coach so that you're not stuck and have developed your own directions for the future and dealing with wealth.

Warning, Warning Signs

 Going to take a little different approach this time around and give you a heads up as to people to watch. 

 First:  Chris Henry, Cincinnati Bengals Football Player.  Its stated today that he might be re-hired of which is another great opportunity to re-instate himself.  Here is what he needs to do:

•    Realize he has a talent and he should respect it
•    Seek a mentor, not someone he knows or anyone in the professional sports environment or connected thereof.
•    Change his living environment, change his entertainment selections.
•     Give back, not $$$ donations his time and make his community time his entertainment. 
  
•     Let people know what type of person he is by his actions of giving to others of himself.

 Second:  Mike Phillips, US Gold 8 times

•     This young man is going to have so much pressure put on his time and abilities, that he's going to think training was a walk in the park.
•     Get a business manager, two CPS's firms and audit every year, certified audits.

First Some simple do's and don'ts

THE DON’TS

• Don’t let sudden wealth take away activities from your life that make you happy. Take a “time out”. Don’t quit your job. Don’t move to a larger house. Don’t lose touch with your friends and relatives. Don’t make promises.
• Don’t let sudden wealth overwhelm your senses or confuse you; don’t let it make you ever irritable; don’t let it become a central point in your thinking and planning each day; and don’t let it start you doing bad things you’d never done before – like worrying day and night about losing money.
• Don’t let sudden wealth rip apart the connections and valued relationships that are truly important in your life; don’t let it become a fatal wedge between you and your family. For example, don’t let sudden wealth persuade you to move away from the neighborhood where for years you have enjoyed the company of your kind of people, or let it blind you to the normal human reactions of brothers and sisters (like jealousy, at first) to your good fortune. Instead, get in touch with your core values.

THE DO’S

• Do take stock of your resources, including as only one part, your new found wealth.
• Do establish those professional relationships you can trust. Involvement in your life of good counselors will more times than not mean the difference between a successful or unsuccessful adjustment to your new surroundings.
• And, Do, to the extent necessary, take the time and the pains to get your life in balance again. Consistency is one of the most important things in a person’s life. Keep yours. Begin the process of making long-term plans that are consistent with what is the real person inside you.
• Takes notes.
  

So when you're ready to take back control of your life and need a good sounding board, send me an email and we'll arrange a first session at no charge to you.

eburns@dealingwithsuccess.com

Don't think that just reading this information will do the trick all by itself, because you'll be do more harm than good.

Some coaching programs:

• Life Coach For Lottery Winners
• Life Coach For CEO's
• Life Coach New Millionaires
• Life Coach For inheritance
• Life Coach for the successful

Now some serious food for thought

Have you found yourself suddenly financially successful and are uncomfortable with this sudden success?

When people wish for something, they are often in conflict about their wishes. One side of the conflict is conscious, "I want to be more successful," but the other side is unconscious, "I am afraid of and don't want the responsibility of success". Therapy helps people gradually discover, over time, their mixed feelings about what they want, and what determines these mixed feelings. Sudden wealth or success allows no room for gradual discovery. Imagine having ambivalence about being married and suddenly waking up and discovering you’re married. Also, sudden wealth or success, leaves people disappointed since they suddenly realize their new found success does not bring them the happiness they expected, nor does it eliminate anxiety, depression, greed, envy, or a host of other emotions. Finally, often people don't believe they deserve success, so they may unconsciously sabotage any efforts toward this goal.

What is it?

Sudden Wealth Syndrome describes the issues and symptoms of people dealing with the stress of sudden success or wealth. Some have struck it rich through entrepreneurial ventures and corporate stock options. Others have made their fortune through an inheritance, Hollywood, or the sports field. The problem is, like the old adage says, money can't buy happiness. Money, even though in our culture it is supposed to equal fulfillment and happiness and everything we could ever want -- it doesn’t; which is why I offer help to those suffering from SWS. It's not a panacea for our problems.

I first started seeing an increase in Sudden Wealth Syndrome cases about fifteen years ago, due in part to the huge dot-com boom. Stock options went up and really, as of the next day, they could stop working for the rest of their lives. I saw people come to terms with this new identity, crisis of purpose, and meaning at a very young age. They were starting to ask more psychological, philosophical and existential questions like the following;

• Who am I if I'm not my job?
• Who am I if I don't have to work for the rest of my life?
• What do I really want to do?
• Why is it when I have all the money in the world I think I'm supposed to be happy and I'm not?

Part of the problem comes from the background of these new millionaires. Many of them were raised in frugal homes and expected to have to work for the rest of their lives. A lot of therapists who deal with SWS in practice, says many of them simply don't know how to be rich. "One of the advantages of old money is that the children have been bred and trained from birth to know what to do: how to handle it. how to think about it, how to find meaning in it. What it can do. What it can't do. How to maintain it," one counselor said. "People that are new to their money may not even have a sense of that if they spend it it's not going to be there -- or if they spend it it's going to affect the long-term results. They don't necessarily have an idea of what saving does for them and what investing does. In other words, there are no grays between having a minimal amount of money and having a great deal."

The Symptoms

It may seem strange to talk about the difficulty of sudden wealth, but the fact is that stress comes from change, and even a positive turning point such as becoming rich can be difficult to handle. The reality is, it's just a different host of issues that come with sudden wealth, as comes with any rite of passage such as childbirth or marriage or death or taxes. It's actually similar to symptoms that people experience during any major change in their lives. There's the shock period. There's the questioning period. There's the lack of trust -- you know, "Am I going to return to the old state?" In fact, the MMCI has compiled a list of symptoms and has found that people suffering from SWS tend to have a least three of the following:

• Increased Anxiety/Panic Attacks
• Money-Related Ruminations Recurrent, persistent money-related thoughts that may become obsessive.
• "Ticker Shock" Marked cycling of anxiety and depression in response to stock market volatility.
• Sleep Disorders
• Irritability
• Identity Confusion Uncertainty as to who they are now and what is important to them.
• Fear of Loss of Control
• Paranoia: Such as excessive concerns about being exploited by others.
• Depression
• Guilt

Guilt is a big one. In my new world, there are other millionaires that I'm rubbing shoulders with, living a faster lifestyle maybe, sitting in first class or whatever it might be. Then I go home and visit my parents for Thanksgiving and they're still in their little three-bedroom bungalow. Experts says there are practical challenges which stem from this guilt, such as how to deal with long-lost relatives who show up asking for money, how to handle jealousy among siblings, or whether to increase the size of Christmas gifts. There is a more fundamental and basic issue which must first be addressed. How do they bridge their old sense of themselves and their former expectations with who they are now? That's a big question. That's a part of what sends people into this tailspin is they have to change their values. They have to say, "Okay, what's going to give me day-to-day meaning now that I'm not waiting for my next paycheck or waiting to pay off my mortgage?"

The Answer?

So what is a financial planner to do if he or she spots some of these symptoms? If a client of a financial planner seems to have issues which block them from taking action or if they seem too anxious or even paralyzed to deal with money issues, it may be time to suggest counseling. Let us assume that most financial planners can differentiate when there's something that's sticky. They need to find a language for themselves they are comfortable with to bring these things up very gracefully. Most financial planners don’t want to be the therapist and therapists don’t want to be coaches and or financial planners. Getting a client into some kind of therapy, counseling, coaching or guidance is a really good idea. The objective is to get them some new prospective as to money, their new life, lifestyle and relationships.

Build a Relationship

Whether or not a client goes into therapy, financial planners can take steps to help clients conquer SWS. The first step is to build a relationship with the client, and get to know some things about their background and their values. If you think this all sounds like it steps outside the bounds of a traditional relationship between a financial planner and a client, you're right. Working with clients with SWS takes an extra commitment on the part of the planner. A coach, financial planner or even therapist think you have to be willing to (a) be very grounded, and (b) be able to connect with people as to who they are, not what you think they should be. Financial planners should also look at what their biases are about high wealth or inherited wealth -- because we all come with a set of biases -- that might get in their way of working more closely with a client and looking at the client's best interest and their needs.

Educating Clients

The sudden influx of money brings with it a kind of adrenaline rush and can push clients into a kind of spending frenzy. Suddenly, they have all the money in the world and can't wait to spend it. As a result, financial planners may have to start with Budgeting 101. A life coach has to show them how to control their personal environment consisting of friends, family and associates. Many of those struggling with new wealth are young -- in their 20s and 30s -- and don't look at the big picture. They think only of now and haven't even thought in terms of retirement. A coach will show them how to focus, to understand that with the money they’ve also picked up new responsibilities which can be enjoyed and give more meaning to their life.

They think of retirement as 'Wow, I never have to work again!" but they don't think in terms of "What do I do for the next 60 years?" The question is how are they going to pay for their lifestyle and what about inflation? In 60 years the same dollar won't be worth the same amount of money. Educate them about their options like mutual funds -- aggressive versus conservative investing. Get them in touch with an accountant, somebody who can help them budget. In fact, budgeting and planning of how to control and enjoy the wealth with its responsibilities is the key for those with new wealth. Having this money dropped in their laps can cause a lot of spending and a sense of invulnerability such that great debt can actually be built up because they're spending and maybe not making payments on their credit cards, we see a lot of that actually, where people have really bad credit because they don't know how to do that daily maintenance.

Values and Philanthropy

In addition to the practicality of budgeting, helping a client evaluate his or her core values are essential. After examining these values, many clients will find sharing the wealth is a way to help cope -- and philanthropy can help cure Sudden Wealth Syndrome. We find many of these young wealth holders are very interested in the opportunity of giving back in some way, whether it is time, money, wisdom, resources or talent. A lot of financial planners feel that's just not what they're supposed to bring up. Certainly I'm not saying to thrust this upon their clients, but nevertheless at least provide this as an option.

A coach will also show you how to give of your time also, of which in turn gives back to the sudden wealth emotionally, i.e. like their parents or grandmother told them years ago, it’s better to give than receive. In reality this is true as when an adult gives a child the gift that make him or her jump up with joy, the parent receives the most valued gift.

Edward M. Burns, Sr.Certified Life Coach

www.dealingwithsuccess.com