Life CoachingExecutive Coaching Just Our World
6/24/08
Sitting here with my wife and watching America's Got Talent and a young man got up and put out a soul reaching should with a song called walking to Memphis. He's got talent and even if he not the winner of the talent show, you'll see him again. My prayers are that the fame and the Hollywood environment won't eat him up and destory the talent because he has God given talent.
6/12/08
Ever wonder how professional golfers though young as some baseball and football players keep their life together a lot better than the football or baseball players do? Watch the US Open this week and watch the players interaction with their caddies and friends. Someone took them aside, someone that cared about the person and said hey, kid, your good but with each reward comes responsibility. Then set them down told them the good, the bad and ugly of life as a professional and what to look out for and how to respond. Life coaching is a responsibility to help the person be a better person, so they accept the responsibilities of their success and deal with the failures.
4/03/08 - What's wrong with this picture?
LANSING, Mich. - David Sneath has worked at a Ford Motor Co. parts warehouse for 34 years, but it didn't take him any time at all to walk out once he discovered he had won a $136 million Mega Millions jackpot.
One would think that this is a happy story but its about to get nasty as time passes. Mr. Sneath will soon learn that he has friends and relative that he never hear of, receive business proposal in projects he has no knowledge of or would ever care to and final one of them all, people asking for loans of which 95% will never pay back. His mistake was letting the media in the door and all they've done is get their little story but at the same time painted Mr. Sneath, so he could never hide, from people who will scam him, defraud him, hurt him and the one's he loves.
What should have he done?
Hire an attorney, a tax attorney and most likely that attorney would have put most in a blind trust and made sure that the public would never know his name. This would have allowed Mr. Sneath to do the good things he wants to do, help those he wanted to help and finally enjoy the fishing he love to do.
Chad Johnson –Cincinnati Bengals'
Now if all print stories are true and I don’t seeing him declining what is written, we have to assume he’s not happy with the Bengals, feels the coach is not talking to him since last August, the town is against him or is it just that isn’t feeling loved. Maybe it’s his age; maybe he loves himself a little too much or just was not feeling complete about what he is doing. Myself, I think he’s an excellent ball player but you see I think someone with that much talent would stay focused on his skills, abilities and current position on a great team. I wouldn’t care what some sports writer might put in print or let rumors of what one person or persons might have said at an event or party. Published In Touch Magazine January 2008 Using a Life Coach to Craft a Life You’ll Love
By Melissa Haller Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “It is not length of life, but depth of life.” Does that leave you scratching your head, wondering where you should start digging? By asking, you’ve taken the first step to figuring out the rest of your life. It’s a journey that many people choose when they’re in transition with work or family, feel something is missing, or want to create a life they love. If you’re on that path, looking for something, you must first define what it is you want: A new job? Fulfilling family life? Adventure? “Don’t ask for an apple when you want an orange,” says Cincinnati-based life coach Ed Burns Sr. Get Out ThereNo sure what you want? “Just get out,” advises Burns. “Get out there and try a new thing.” Network. Take a class. Attend a workshop. Try something new. Volunteer. And take note of what makes you smile. Be part of your world. It might not be what you think it is. Consider Jimmy Carter. He discovered his passion after he left the highest office in the land. “He slipped out of his comfort zone and found his life’s work,” says Burns. It’s okay to ask for advice from friends and family, but be wary of their special interest. There’s no way around the personal introspection and research you must do to find your passion. “The resources are out there,” Burns says. “You just have to use them.”
Work the PlanOnce you know what you want, it’s time to set goals and commit to a plan for change. Sign up for the class and attend. Update your resume and send it out. Do yoga. Volunteer. If you’ve done the work and you’re still confused, consider hiring a life coach. They’ll work with you to create a plan for your future that holds you accountable for carrying out the steps you’ve agreed on. But coaches are not therapists. They’re sounding boards. Like all professions, each life coaches varies. So before hiring one, check their experience, qualifications, and references. They should “feel” right to you.Remember the most important factor in change is you. Others might help you find the answers, but no one’s going to give them to you. You have to dig if you want to live a life with depth.
One-half of life is talent; the other half is discipline - and that's the important half, for without discipline you wouldn't know what to do with talent. Carl Zuckmeyer - edited NFL - Fallen Football Star - August 24, 2007 Michael Vick received no leniency from the NFL and the career is over. One can say he didn't keep his eyes on the ball and blame lay right at the feet. He has to be able to deal with the results and move forward with his life. I don't think anyone thinks it will be in professional football but if he puts as much effort as he did in football, then life will be kinder to him and he'll use this negative side of his life as a lesson learned. Sudden wealth, sudden fame has a way of twisting life's important factors and the view is via the old rose colored glasses. I wish you well Mike and you've learned a hard life lesson the hard way but your next step needs to be a positive one, that will give you strength and a new future. Don't let these current events in your life eat at your soul but move on and look ahead. God speed and our prayers are with you. PGA - Firestone CC, Akron, OH - August 2, 2007 This week we're spending some great fun time and a little work by attending this great pga event in Akron, Ohio and watching professional players try to out play each other. If you want to learn about about people a pga tour event is a great place to go. Watching a golfer in day of highs and low, is just that a lesson about people and life. Angel Cabrea and Padraig Harrington are both just comming off a great high of winning a couple of major wins. You can really see the glow in their faces and its like seeing someone happy about walking around with both feet on the ground. There are of course many other players like Tiger Woods, Retief Goosen, Vijay Singh to mention a few but what allows me to following a player that really got his game together for the day but watching them controlling the mental part of their game. Pro golfer are no different than the weekend golfer it just that they don't make as many mistakes in a round of golf. The problem you see sometimes with pro golfers is that mental monkey they've got on their back. When you see a pro golfer leading the field or just having a great day, then they hit a shot out of bounds and its like the shot screwed up the whole day and the whole round. Forget about accepting it for what it is, a golf shot that wasn't pretty but its just that another shot. Take Padraig Harington in the British Open, hitting no one but two shots in water, taking him out of 1st place and putting himself in a tie spot. He kept the mental side of his golf game in place and won in a playoff. Can a professional golfer alway keep his mental game in place, no but to see a golfer with his head down, acting like he just lost this place in the golfing world from hitting a bad shot, almost can assure himself that he's done for the day. A golf shot is just that, a golf shot and if it isn't landing were a golfer plans, that's golf. Of the top 100 professional golf in the world, not one can't win a major but most won't because they let the mental game fly with that bad shot. There is one guy that was outstanding on Thursday that was spanking the ball on in the fairway and very, very long and that would be none other than Mr. Retief Goosen, so keep an eye on him this week. Pro Sports & Wealth - July 27, 2007 If it seems like to two words don’t match, you’re very near the truth. Today we have one sport figure going to court and another being declined as to re-instatement and I am sure he feels; they’re in the wrong and not him. His reasoning is simple, he hasn’t done anything wrong and this might very well be true. What he is missing is his own words “He hasn’t done anything” Sometimes when people receive life positive gifts, use them as intended, and reap the benefits, there is little thought of giving of self, not with money alone. Giving of yourself and your time is what you’re supposed to give back. I have a client that is very wealthy and told me she gave an in-law a very expense gift, somewhere in the range of $12,000. Her complaint was that the return gift was 1/10th the value of her gift and she was hurt and upset. I told her that she didn’t give a gift if she was looking for an equal return. She said yes she did and re-stated the cost. I said when you give a gift with contractual understanding or with anticipation in return, and then it’s a contract, not a gift. She was speechless for a number of minutes until she understood what I was talking about. Survivor Fiji / Moral Combat – May 13, 2007
If any of you watched this seasons Survivor Fiji you had the opportunity to watch something more than just a reality show. You saw a young man struggle with morality, honor and dignity. He was offered a deal: a truck for an immunity symbol with the condition that he would transfer the immunity to another. He accepted this offer and stated, “on the life of my son, I give you my word I will do it”. Then when he won the immunity symbol and was asked to keep his word, you could see this young man struggle with his decision to be a man of his word and uphold a moral code and maintain his honor. Unfortunately, he declined to give up the immunity in hopes of winning a million dollars. His decision was a poor one and he never came close to the million and lost all of his honor in the process because he will be known as a man who kept the bounty rather than his honor. Can he ever say again, "I will keep my word" and people believe him? I think not because on national TV people saw him go back on his word to another.
Now let us try to figure out why this happened and how it happened. Over the period of the show we learned he didn’t have what we would call a normal upbringing of which would consist of a mother and father who had a main focus of creating a family environment for this young man. He had to struggle just to keep some normality in his life and to a large degree, he succeeded but a lot of the foundation was not there for him to rely on. It would have been nice if his mother taught him kindness to others and a father to teach him the meaning of honor.
Therefore, I think enough has been said and my prayers will be with this young man to take some advice from the man who gave him the truck, make an effort to gain more discipline in life, and seek to improve his education and his life. May 5, 2007
Paris Hilton – I am sure a lot of you do not have any concerns regarding Paris Hilton being sentenced to forty-five days in jail. In fact I’m pretty sure a lot of you feel this spoiled girl of privileged is getting what she is due, for the laws she broke. Maybe she is or maybe she is not, but the judge felt he was doing the right thing for her lack of concern for the law.
Let us look at things as to fault, her fault or her parents fault. The environment we are created in, grow up in and the parenting skills of our parents, as to their ethics, morals and supervision of their responsibilities, control us all. I can remember when my oldest son was about ten or eleven years old and the subject came up as to something he wanted or a place he wanted to go. We had just returned from a week of visiting relatives and friends up north and I started lecturing him on responsibilities of the financial nature and reminding him that when I was his age I surely did not have the environment and opportunity he has. He looked at me with sincerity in his eyes and stated, “Dad I can't help I’m growing up on a golf country club neighborhood.” I started to say something back for this young kid being a little smart mouth but then, reality sunk in to the point I knew he was right. He had always lived in a nice home and enjoyed pleasant and safe neighborhoods. Yet when I was his age, there was nothing nice about where I grew up but, thank God, just some very nice people who helped my family many times.
Now let us get back to Paris Hilton and who is at fault. We all know Paris was enriched by her privileged environment and we all know she totally takes advantage of her privileged status and all created by money. Along the way, she has used this status and money to use hers spoiled way to the hilt but is there another question we should be asking? Who raised this person to be so spoiled, who taught this person to be so unconcerned about other people, who taught this girl her way is the right way and others must do for themselves? All her life she has had whatever she wanted and no one said no or they shoved this responsibility off onto another. We don't know all the details and frankly it's family business and not ours. We do know the responsibility of actions is now being paid the hard way.
Folks, it's really very simple, a parent and only a parent, can teach a child responsibility and in all reality this is 80% her parents' fault but now a 100% Paris's responsibility. There are thousands of privileged people in this country and most of them take the steps to teach their children the responbility that comes along with wealth and privilege. You see them helping not only financially but lots of their own time to help those less fortunate. We can only hope during her stay in jail that Paris Hilton learns some of these lessons of life and stands up to her responbilities in life. April 9, 2007 Opportunity 4 Chris Henry, Cincinnati Bengals - The NFL made their decision and Chris Henry will sit out the first seven games for the 2007 season. If I were him, I would be very upset and I have a feeling he is also, but in all reality I’m hoping after the dust settles that he looks at this as an opportunity to be a stronger man, a better team mate, learn how to give more, understand giving as he gives on the field of play has a stronger, personal return to himself. He has a very gifted talent and he needs to understand it is a gift and with this gift there are responsibilities and rewards and he needs to learn how to deal with them both.
April 7, 2007 Today I was sitting at home watching the 2007 Masters and watching professional golfers struggle with their individual game. Personal pressures in the game of golf are what it’s all about. About nine times out of ten you can see those who give up and do so sometimes before they even take a swing at the ball. Controlling the pressure is what makes a champion a champion and that feeling of feeling good about their actions taken. If they let one bad shot destory the hole or let one bad hole destory the game, they've lost control and the use of their talent. Golf is very much about setting aside pressures so you can do what you want to do on the links or in your personal life. Life is very much like golf because if you can’t control some pressures that life tosses at you, then you’re letting those little demons interfere with what you want to do. It shouldn't be a surprise that many players felt when they left the links that they hadn't done well enough to have a chance on Sunday and expressed these concerns to the media. The end of play Saturday was about 7:30 PM and by end of play there wasn't one pro player who was under par and this changed the whole outcome of Sunday. Let's hope they didn't give any stroke to the field because of their lack of promise for Sunday's play. The question is, did they make a judgment call too early? Who did we enjoy watching the most? The one and only Mr. Retief Goosen, the man with a soft sweet swing and as effortless as a swing you'll ever see. This honorable gentleman who gives dignity to the game played the most perfect game Saturday and Sunday. Though he didn't win, he's won the hearts of many fans. If there would have been a tie by the end of Sunday between Mr. Johnson, Mr. Woods, and Mr. Goosen, hands down Mr. Retief Goosen would have won. He kept the ball in the proper position each day of this weekend at the Masters and now we look forward to 2008.
Cincinnati Enquirer: January 7, 2007
Forum Section: Pro Athletes, basic discipline .
What’s next for professional football coaches? Do they have to be parents all over again, teaching children the basics of right or wrong, how to behave in public and what makes good moral character? I think not, but according to mainstream media that’s what we should be thinking about for a new NFL rule.
What we need to do is use some real common sense and realize that we’re talking about young men, in their early 20’s having attention and shallow love tossed their way daily. Then you have the money problem, yes I said money problem. Have you ever noticed one of the first things they do is go out and purchase six-caret diamond earrings, for each ear. If someone asked them about the earrings and suggest by saying, "Hey man, what are they four-to-five carets?" and the reply will come quickly, "No, no man those are seven carets." What they spend on things that don’t count in life would really surprise you. Again, remember these are young men 22 – 25 and now with a bag full of gold and everyone telling them how they should spend it, how they should dress, and how great their image is. Again, remember a lot of people are playing to their egos and their status in life, now that they’re NFL superstars.
It's self discipline they need, it's understanding of where they’re at in life, what responsibilities they’ve now acquired, the importance they carry to the team, fans and they are the one’s who really care about them. Most don’t need some disciplinarian father figure but someone to show them what their life really means and the importance and responsibility they now carry and how all should be done with honor and personal discipline from within.
Remember these are young men with financial agents, managers, so-called friends telling them what they should be doing 24/7. Initially this is easy to accept because you don’t have to worry about bills, cleaning your house, doing your shopping and remembering special events. This acceptance of a false lifestyle can trap anyone, lottery winners, sudden wealth receivers, and the sudden big job promotion that takes you to a very high level of importance. The trick is to be aware of the trap, look for the signs, and you’ll even enjoy loving the importance of life and being thankful for the gifts you’ve received. Edward M. Burns, Sr. Cincinnati Bengals Fan and with great respect for Coach Lewis
One of her first successes was helping Reilly delegate big tasks which didn't require his direct involvement, such as converting all the company's systems to electronic tax filing and deciding which personal computers and other technology to buy. "I have people who were really good at that, and [Sickel] pointed that out to me," says Reilly, 55, whose three-year-old company has six employees and generated revenues in the high six figures last year. "So I turned all that over to my general manager, Bob Wessel, and he loved it." Sickel burrowed further into Reilly's relationship with Wessel and found out his right-hand man was a new father and might be looking for a little relaxation. Reilly had won a free stay at a local Marriott hotel at a golf outing, and Sickel suggested Reilly offer it to Wessel. This simple, easy gesture, which Reilly had been too busy to consider, scored big points for him with Wessel.
Lesley Delgado And Bill Pinkerton
Although Lesley Delgado had started her temporary-placement service six years ago, she had procrastinated on writing training manuals for three important jobs in the company. As a result, the training employees received was inadequate. After only three months of coaching by Bill Pinkerton, Delgado completed the manuals. "People have a tendency to put things off that [they] really don't want to do," says Delgado, 35 who owns Staff pro America in Southfield, Mich. Pinkerton "has made me look at myself and the negative sides, and how they may be impacting my staff." Pinkerton also has helped Delgado be more considerate of whether employees are understanding her directives. "I'm more deliberate now, adjusting my style to them so they can comprehend the message I'm trying to deliver." Pinkerton, 56, is a former AT&T Co. executive who heads VV Inc. in West Bloomfield, Mich. He says what makes coaching worthwhile are the moments when clients break through to a new level of understanding. "Three out of five sessions we make great progress," he says, "and many times just one idea will make it worth the time for them." Nick Seamon
Nick Seamon's deli and catering business in Amherst, Mass., the Black Sheep, has survived ups and downs, including a filing in bankruptcy court a few years ago. Now with about 40 employees and revenues of $1.2 million in 1997, Seamon's biggest problem is managing growth.That's where the coach has been a boon. He helped Seamon understand that he must emphasize the catering side of his business--in part because the store simply doesn't have much more space for additional merchandise or customers.The coach also persuaded Seamon to undertake weekly cash-flow planning sessions and to assign his catering manager to do it. "Now we know whether we can spend money or not," Seamon says.Over a period of months, the executive will be more closely examining his options.
Mitch Vigveno And Jeff Raim
Mitch Vigveno owns Turning Point, Inc., a Clearwater, Fla., recruiting firm specializing in finance professionals. "As a small-business owner, we're not accountable to anyone else," he says. Jeff Raim help Vigveno on a variety of fronts, ranging from simple tips on how to assemble and stick to a master to-do list to how to plan for diversification."The weekly phone calls have helped keep me aware of the need for balance and to be more forgiving of myself when things don't happen the way I want them to," Vigveno says. Such counsel also slides over comfortably to Vigveno's personal life, which turned disastrous four years ago--before he founded the business. After he left his job, he says, "my wife left me. Jeff helps me focus on the spiritual side of myself as well." Still, Vigveno expresses dissatisfaction with one aspect of coaching, one that is a staple of nearly all coaching relationships--it occurs mostly over the phone. "I'd get much more out of it if I were sitting face to face with Jeff every two weeks."
How can you help build the kind of coaching relationship you want, whether it's via phone or face to face? Here are seven tips:
1. Be ready to stretch. More than anything else, having a coach will unsettle the entrepreneur--which is usually the whole idea. "We ask them powerful questions to get them to self-discover what they're going to do," says Sickel of Visionary Growth Resources. They prepare them for coaching directives such as setting priorities and restoring balance. Says Sickel, "Entrepreneurs typically have so many ideas that they can't possibly make them all happen at the same time. We help them focus and get things done."
2. Reckon with accountability. This is perhaps the most essential element of a coaching relationship. "Most CEOs of closely held businesses have zero accountability other than maybe to the bank," says Westlake, the Indianapolis home builder. You should have an agreement from the start about the specific meaning of accountability. Some coaches come right out and say that they're giving their clients someone to be accountable to; others insist that they only help clients be more accountable to themselves.Some clients allow coaches to set up a structure that encourages accountability, such as being "fined" for failing to perform an agreed-upon task. The fine might involve having the business owner make a donation to a group he doesn't like. "You can waste a lot of money if you don't do what you're supposed to do in between sessions," Vigveno says.
3. Check references. Before you select a coach, make sure you check the person's background, references, and approach, advises Jane Applegate, a syndicated small-business columnist and owner of The Applegate Group, a multimedia-communications firm in Pelham, N.Y. Most coaches conduct a complimentary two or three-hour initial session in which they try to understand their potential client and allow him or her to understand them, both parties usually can tell right away if there's going to be a match. "Auditioning" three coaches in such sessions is becoming the norm. "In general, the best coaching is going to come from someone who knows the game from the inside, who's been in the arena, who's fought the battles and can tell other people what to do," says Jack Roseman, a professor of entrepreneurship at Carnegie-Mellon University in Pittsburgh. Some argue that the best coaches are those who specialize in helping owners in a particular genre, such as accounting, health care, or manufacturing. Applegate, however, says that in her opinion some of the best coaches are psychologists who have little or no business background or perhaps have owned a business but don't know anything about the client's industry.
4. Establish a fee structure. The staple of most coaching relationships is a weekly half-hour or 45-minute phone conversation, supplemented with impromptu phone availability, e-mail messages, quarterly bull sessions, and other points of contact. Typical fees range from $250 to $500 a month.
5. Decide where to draw the line. In the poll conducted by the International Coach Federation, half of the respondents said they confide in their coaches as much as they do in their best friends, spouses, or therapists. Twelve percent said they confide in their coaches more than they do in anyone else. Applegate, for example, became friends with her coach and his family and stopped using him as a coach. And the coach invested in Seamon's company and is compensated with dividend checks rather than direct fees. On the other hand, Delgado, the temp-service owner, eagerly has expanded the services of her coach, Pinkerton, into her personal life. "I'm what drives my business, and how successful I am as a total person drives that," explains Delgado. "When I'm happy, everyone's happy." Says Pinkerton, "Coaching has to do with the whole person. We're talking about establishing personal as well as professional goals. It's difficult to separate the two."
6. Play the endgame. Coaching relationships often naturally outlive their usefulness after a couple of years or so, and you should discuss that possibility upfront with your coach. Ernst, for example, says that coaching "happens over a period of time" and assumes a "weekly rhythm," but he requires only a 90-day commitment from his clients. "At that point," he says, "we'll both know if you're getting any value out of it.
Sports Figures Gone Wrong:
Have you noticed lately that a lot of sports figures' lime lights aren't from their performance on the field of play but mostly from the field of dreams? Most people just can't understand it when some of these players, who seem to have everything, can't keep themselves from getting caught either by the lens of a camera or a squad car. It's not that they've got their dumb hats on or that the weakness between their ears seems to crop up with some really poor selection in their personal lives. They are people first, and besides the physical strains a sport might put on them , the all of a sudden popularity can cause a short circuit in their normal judgment. For a number of them they weren't in the top click in high school, voted most popular, or made their first million by the time they hit 30. They might have taken all their free time and focused it on their sport and not on tuning up their social life or lack thereof. So now you see them, all of a sudden on top of their mountain, people are paying attention to every word they say, some hot women are looking at them more than twice, strange sexy women say, "Hi, baby", everyone is a buddy, they fall for their own PR hype and they think they can do no wrong. This is the vortices of fame and sometimes the undertow can be so strong all judgment goes out the window. Some so-called friends don't want to call their buddy a jerk when he really is being one because then they won't be able to share in the lime light of this superstar. Their real true friends will tell them they've been wrong but because they are a close friend, the comments of concern fall on deaf ears.
We all know of, or have heard of someone going down this path and either someone from outside the box helps them put their head back on straight or the end comes quicker than they think. We all generally make two statements; "Oh he had it all and blows it" or "The poor guy just wasn't strong enough to deal with all that fame."
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